Teen depression: what parents need to know and how to help.

 


The teen years can be extremely tough and depression affects teenagers far more often than many parents realize. In fact, it’s estimated that one in five adolescents from all walks of life will suffer from depression at some point during their teen years. However, while depression is highly treatable, most depressed teens never receive help.

Teen depression goes beyond moodiness. It’s a serious health problem that impacts every aspect of a teen’s life. Fortunately, it’s treatable and parents can help. Your love, guidance, and support can go a long way toward helping your teen overcome depression and get their life back on track.



Teen depression is a serious mental health problem that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest in activities. It affects how your teenager thinks, feels and behaves, and it can cause emotional, functional and physical problems. Although depression can occur at any time in life, symptoms may be different between teens and adults.


Issues such as peer pressure, academic expectations and changing bodies can bring a lot of ups and downs for teens. But for some teens, the lows are more than just temporary feelings — they're a symptom of depression.

Teen depression isn't a weakness or something that can be overcome with willpower — it can have serious consequences and requires long-term treatment. For most teens, depression symptoms ease with treatment such as medication and psychological counseling.


What are the causes of teen depression

  1. High expectations

Sometimes teenagers tend to place high expectations on themselves


2. Inadequacy over their grades or school performance 

might lead to feelings of worthlessness


3. Social status with peers


4. Sexual orientation: They might feel stressed if their sexual orientation is different from the majority of people.


5. Family environment :Negative family environment, and frequent family conflicts can affect the way a teenager thinks and behaves.


6. Alcohol or drug use: In the short term substances help with stress, in the long term they make a person more susceptible to depression.


7. Family history (others in the family have depression)

8. Hormonal imbalances

9. Parental Disapproval

10. Peer Pressure

11. Bullying/Abuse or Harassment. Etc

 




The following are some of the ways in which teens “act out” in an attempt to cope with their emotional pain:


Persistent negative mood. 

Frequent crying due to an overwhelming sense of hopelessness is a common sign of depression. However, teens with depression may not necessarily appear sad. Instead, irritability, anger, and agitation may be the most prominent symptoms.


Problems at school.

 Depression can cause low energy and concentration difficulties. At school, this may lead to poor attendance, a drop in grades, or frustration with schoolwork in a formerly good student.


Loss of interest in activities. 

Outside of school, you might notice that your teen shows less enthusiasm for their favorite hobbies. They may quit a sports team or hobby, for example, or withdraw from family and friends.



Running away. 

Many depressed teens run away from home or talk about running away. Such attempts are usually a cry for help.



Drug and alcohol abuse.

 Teens may use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to self-medicate their depression. Unfortunately, substance abuse only makes things worse.



Low self-esteem. 

Depression can trigger and intensify feelings of ugliness, shame, failure, and unworthiness.


Smartphone addiction.

 Teens may go online to escape their problems, but excessive smartphone and Internet use only increases their isolation, making them more depressed.


Reckless behavior. 

Depressed teens may engage in dangerous or high-risk behaviors, such as reckless driving, binge drinking, and unsafe sex.


Violence. 

Some depressed teens—usually boys who are the victims of bullying—can become aggressive and violent.


Sudden changes in sleep and diet. 

Depressed teens may spend more time sleeping in bed than usual, or conversely, experience insomnia. You may also notice that your teen is eating more or less than normal.


While depression can cause tremendous pain for your teen—and disrupt everyday family life—there are plenty of things you can do to help your child start to feel better. The first step is to learn what teen depression looks like and what to do if you spot the warning signs. To help do this, I asked some Teenagers. Here are some replies.


Why do Teenagers get depressed frequently?




I’ll tell my personal story on why I’m depressed most of the time and although some things are unique to me, a lot of teenagers are going through this too.


I’m in a constant state of being tired. I can’t sleep at night without taking 4–5 melatonin tablets (recommended is 1) . My body has become too dependent on melatonin and can’t sleep without it, but even with it it is hard to fall asleep and stay asleep.


I don’t eat. Every time I start to eat 3 meals a day and eat whenever I’m hungry, I end up noticeably gaining weight. I don’t want that, I want to be skinny. I want to be skinny like the models I see all over my instagram.


I have no motivation to do my schoolwork. I already almost failed 10th grade after failing three classes, and now I’m in 11th with a lot of my grades being very low (9% is my lowest). My gpa has gone to shit and I really don’t care anymore.


I work constantly. My parents are always at work, so during the day when I’m supposed to be doing schoolwork, I’m instead babysitting my two baby sisters and cleaning all day + making meals. Then when my 5 other siblings get home from school, I have to babysit them too until my parents get home at 4:30, then I have to help make dinner and clean. By the time I’m done with everything, there is no time for me to do the only thing that makes me happy.

I love going outside and riding my bike and doing things I’m not supposed to do. I love the rush of knowing danger could be right around the corner. I explore abandoned places (which I’ve been chased out of multiple times) and explore around my city alone. However, I can’t be out after dark and since it’s Winter, it’s pretty much dark at 4:30 and I have no time to do anything.


I started drinking my step mom’s vodka. Drank the whole bottle. That’s one of the few things that just takes my mind off everything.


I have to do everything right. I can’t act up or do a tiny thing wrong or else my step mom will start arguing with my Dad and they will threaten each other to divorce. That can’t happen, I can’t lose another mom after my mom died.


I went and saw my grandparents (the people who raised me my whole life when my real parents decided alcohol and drugs were better than me) a couple weeks ago for the first time in a year. I’m not allowed to talk to them or be near them, my Dad hates them. He didn’t know I met with them for a couple hours.


It doesn’t matter. It’s not like my parents listen to me or even care. Over a year ago is when I first started asking my Dad to see a therapist, and I’ve asked him a lot since then, but it hasn’t happened yet and it’s getting worse.


I haven’t been getting my periods regularly since they started, and I’ve been wanting to get myself checked out for years, but it’s not important enough for my step mom to take me.


My parents promised me my permit as soon as I turned 16. It’s been 6 months now, and they haven’t even scheduled my physical. I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to drive.


I don’t have any plans for the future. Nothing fits me.


I have no friends. No one to talk to. I’m alone. Nobody cares. Nobody asks. Nobody even looks at me.


So here I am with a cable strong enough to hold my body off the ground, and a metal hook at the top of my ceiling sturdy enough to keep me hanging until I’m dead.


I have no regrets. I’ve been wanting to do this for years. I’m scared. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live. I didn’t think I’d make it this far in life, I was hoping I was going to die before it got this bad. I don’t know what to do. I’m strong enough to hold back today, but what about tomorrow or the day after tomorrow? What about next week? I can’t be sure.


The only thing holding me back from doing it is imagining my siblings walking in on my dead, cold body hanging from the ceiling.


I just keep hoping things will get better but it never will.


Maybe one day I will be free.





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Every day, you get up. You cleanse yourself, clothe yourself, and prepare for the unrewardingness of leaving your bed. You go slave as hard as you can, trying to meet deadlines and survive from day to day. Every day, you run like a mouse in a maze. Then, you find a pattern that works to get you through, and you get unhappy from the lack of glory and the surplus of nothingness.


Then, you get sad. Like, really really undeniably sad that you can’t stop.


Or maybe you get enlightened. Or maybe you’ve watched too much porn and shitty fanfiction and now you have too high of expectations for life. Or maybe you get bothered by the boys who fall under the “boys must be boys, don’t mind them” quota. Or maybe you see someone who’s just so much better than you and you start to feel lower down. Or maybe you realize you’re ugly and insignificant. Or maybe you realize no one can hear you scream. Or maybe you get into a downward cycle… but the cycle is comforting because it’s all you have left.


And maybe you just realized you can’t tell anyone about this, for fear of them seeing your wounds and attacking you while you’re weak, or maybe you’re just too alone to have anyone to turn to. It’s just you, but you suck.


You feel like no matter how much you do the right thing, you get no reward. You feel like all your sin is an unforgivable war crime, yet you don’t really stop because since you’re already destined for hell, you’d might as well get on the leaderboard along with Hitler since you’re so terrible.


And then maybe you go numb and the only thing you can feel is the way your tears go from stinging hot to fully cool. Even the pain isn’t as strong, which adds to the numbness factor that you can’t express since you’re choking on the struggles.


You’re hormonal as hell and you’re still shaping yourself. Some days, you’ll think you’re the shit, and other days, you just know you’re shit. Some days, you practice with the hanger around your neck, and other days you fear death. Some days, you feel okay, but then it goes away.


Your phone can’t save you now. The void is just widening now. The more of Emily Ratajkowski you see, the less you love your own body. The more you go on Tumblr trying to find a home for yourself, the more you feel like you aren’t meant to fit in with certain ergo you’re worthless. You realize you might never live to see Megamind 2. You see people gossiping, and drama starts, and you stop. You see that your last friend is telling you they’re too busy to talk, then you see them actively online messing around. You realize most of your internet friends don’t give a damn about you, and only use you to pass the time. You realize that the milfs in your area are just a part of the Illuminati, and you get sad, because you had faith in them. You see that the reward isn’t balancing out the effort put into life. Then you wonder what the point is.


But you’re used to it. I mean, changing the cycle is too hard by now, right? All you have to do is stay a little longer and hope someone or something saves you.


Waiting.


And waiting.


Till you forget why you wait.


But you’re numb, and you’re in the cycle, and it’d be too much work to change it. Nobody understands you anyways. I mean, why would they? Nobody cares anymore.


Time to give up.


Game over.


Well, that’s at least how I and many of my peers have viewed it. The dullness and numbness consume everything. You lose yourself in the hormonal changes and you drown in a sea of angst. Every day is the same, but deteriorating. Then, at the end, nothing remains- or at least it feels like. Feelings become too complex, and time becomes too lonely, then life becomes too isolated, even when surrounded by your peers.


Or maybe I’m just a brat who’s got this all wrong. Who knows.


But we’re all scared of being alone, yet the fear of others being like us persists. Nobody wants to die alone, yet sometimes the depression tells them they’re alone then convinces them to die, and then everyone mourns from afar.


Or maybe it’s just hormones.


I hope it’s just the hormones, and that this is just a phase.


But what if it isn’t?




°°°°°





There are a lot of favors that could lead to someone being depressed. There are usually 2 big ones most people are familiar with that cause depression. One of the most common is that they are bullied at school and by others online who make them feel small, weak and unimportant and that they are also being abused, ignored or neglected by their parents and teachers for petty or understandable but inexcusable reasons. This is the most common example of how people get depression. The other reason is that they develop it over the course of their lives or are born with it because of a genetic condition that basically floods their brains and hearts with negative emotions causing severe mental health decline. As someone who's been abused, bullied and neglected I know all the symptoms of depression and how it can destroy one's entire life and world view. Always get therapy. Go to your doctor. Talk to your friends. Engage in support groups. Do all of these things to help yourself or your child in case these things come up. Your goal as their parents or if you are the victims of depression is that you need to be responsible for your mental health or someone else's mental health depending on your circumstances.


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Certainly there can be a genetic component, but often depression is the result of attitudes and treatment they received at the hands of parents. If a child absorbs the message that they’re stupid, useless, unlovable, uninteresting, disappointing or something similar, it can result in depression. The hopelessness of witnessing or receiving abuse for years and years is numbing and flattening, and it gets firmly integrated into who they believe themself to be. The young adult’s identity is centered on this core idea.



°°°°°


I think the main reason for depression in teens is overthinking. They are in this phase of life, expecting everything to be perfect and easy as before in their childhood. But suddenly as they grow up, they set some goals or start dreaming to achieve everything they want, whether it’s getting “A” in academics, or being selected in their favorite sports team in school, or getting popularity in college, or proposing to the person they like, and the list goes on.


Then, they meet failures, rejections, pressure of meeting a lot of expectations, their goal suddenly seems higher than they thought it would be. And they realize they have to fight to achieve their dreams, and whenever they lose in this fight, somewhere a small piece of their hopes.. shatters. And they start thinking about it again and again and again, they start to underestimate themselves. They love their dream but they think maybe they are strong enough to achieve it. Why can’t he/she be like others who are doing it? Why can’t they be happy just like others? Why can’t their life be not happy and easy just like others?


And they keep on thinking about it and they stop trying, because now they are scared- what if they’ll fail again? Will they be able to face the failures? Or parents? Or friends?


This overthinking just wastes their time, leading them to do nothing, lowering their self-confidence, bringing their hopes down, and thus making their life worse.


They need to understand, teenage is the most beautiful phase of life. You get the ability to understand things, how this world exists and how you can live in this beautiful world. You meet people who love you for the rest of their lives. You start to feel the real meaning of happiness - whether it’s your big success or a stranger’s smile when you are really feeling down. You can sense love while listening to music. You start to feel your existence in this world.


This is just a learning phase. So what if it’s a little hard, just remember - “This, too, shall pass” .. and hold on ...!!


You’ll have a great life ahead, just Never Give Up..!! Don’t think too much, just enjoy.


Today’s failure is giving you lessons for tomorrow’s success.. Just Breathe and try..!!


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Depression is an illness related to the mind. It can affect anybody. There is no certain age group for it. When a person faces a difficulty in accepting the reality of life, it triggers every now and then, the constant sadness persists more than 15days, there are possibilities of depression. It differs from one person to another. It might be mild or severe. Mild depression goes away on its own whereas clinical or severe depression needs the help of medical professionals. In either case there is nothing to worry, there are medications which will help you feel lighter and regain yourself.


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If your teen is depressed, they will welcome praise when it’s offered. Depression often comes with feeling guilty, ashamed, sad, lonely, anxious, and confused. When you give your teen praise, you highlight a detail in their life and you help them shine a bit more. You also let your teen know that you’re noticing, that you care, and that you love them. Teens who are depressed need you to highlight the positive because they are so frequently focused on the negative.













John Dan

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