I am in my teenage years (almost leaving though) and a boy, what a ride it has been! We go through so much unimaginable change as teens. A lot of us like to keep things to ourselves. Some teenagers wish their parents knew that, amongst many other things.
However, some teenagers feel obligated to hide the way they feel because they’re afraid that parents will judge them, get mad at them, and won’t be by their side.
If you’re a parent reading this, then congratulations! You’re one of the few parents that at least took the first step in trying to understand their teenager rather than trying to fight them.
Hopefully the article will help you form a better relationship with your teen(s) and make everyone feel better because of it.
This post was written with the teenager in mind, so everything that is going to be shared will be from the minds of current and recent teenagers.
If you’re a teenager reading this, I hope you can relate to some of these topics yourself and maybe even share this with your parents to read.
What are some things Teenagers sometimes want to tell their parents but don't?
Can’t You Just Admit When You’re Wrong?
One of the things teenagers struggle with is the feeling of always being wrong in the face of their parents who always act like they’re right.
But heads up, parents, truth be told, you're not always right. You don’t always have all the answers. And, you've all messed up a time or two (or more).
Rather than standing on your pedestals of parental perfection, you need to face up to your shortcomings, let your teenagers sometimes see you as imperfect human beings and parents, and admit (or, better yet, apologise) when you're wrong.
Next time, try admitting when you overreacted or apologising for harping on your teen when they were undeserving. You’ll be doing your child and your relationship with them a huge favour.
RELATED POST: PARENTING TEENS FROM A TEEN'S PERSPECTIVE
Stop Forcing Things We’re Not Into
Yes, we’ve heard that “computer science, medicine, law, engineering is the future”, our grades are our life, and jobs are how you make money.
However, that doesn’t mean we have a passion for those things. Maybe we’re into art, sports, entrepreneurship, or videography.
The world is changing, and I hate to say it but, teenagers are more aware of the change than adults are.
Stop thinking you know your teen because you probably don’t.
We don’t want to hear about your favourite majors,your favourite job ideas for us. We want YOU to hear what OUR favourite majors and job ideas are.
If that’s hard for you to respect, that’s okay. Just understand that your teenager is going to grow up and be their own person. Don’t ruin their confidence now, because it will affect the rest of their lives.
Affirm once in awhile
It’s easy for parents to only point out the areas that need improvement but teenagers need to hear what they are doing well. Parents need to look for opportunities to praise their teenager, whether for doing something without being asked, or just complimenting who they are becoming as a person.
When parents are raising teenagers it’s all too easy to focus on the cracks in the pavement. But what we need to be doing is focusing on the good.
Instead of focusing on your child’s messy bedroom (a classic parent frustration), the wet towels they left on the bathroom floor. The point I'm making here is not that you shouldn't correct us. But once in a while pay attention to the subtle positive changes in our behavior.
Praise us for showing true appreciation for something you did, that we did something without you asking or that they landed an “A” on a hard test. We need to be noticed, we need to feel appreciated and we need to hear our praise to thrive. Constant negativity will only deflate our self-esteem, enthusiasm and motivation.
Talking is hard sometimes
Sometimes, teenagers need time to think before we can talk about something. On the other hand, parents want Teenagers to talk immediately when a question is thrown at us. Parents need to be patient and let their teenagers come to them when they’re ready to talk. Forcing the conversation only makes them shut down.( This is a fact! Every teenager can relate to this)
RELATED POST: what teens wish their parents understood about them
Our Phone is Our Social Life
Parents listen up! If you think your teen is ruining their life because they’re on their phone, you are wrong.
You grew up in a different generation, we know. Things were different back then, we know.
When you were a child, televisions were new to the world and you adapted, because that’s what humans do. We adapt to the world around us or we get left behind.
If you don’t understand that, then teenagers honestly feel sorry for you. And just because you don’t understand, it doesn’t mean that you have to take that away from your teen.
Here are a few things a phone and social media does for teenagers:
Connect with friends
Make new friends
Learn new topics
Understand the world faster
Receive job opportunities (yes, jobs!) . I've learnt about five skills with just my phone and presently connecting with millions of people all over the world with just my mobile phone
Join groups about passionate interests
Have access to billions of knowledgeable resources
Have a voice
I can go on and on. This is just a fraction of what’s available to them on a little hand held device that you feel the need to diminish.
Don’t make fun or judge them because they use their phones. If anything, you should encourage them to desist from the negative influence of social media.
RELATED POST: 10 things Teenagers want to hear from their parents
Congrats to the parents reading this who are willing to make their relationship with their teen even better. You are one step ahead of every other parent!
If you have any comments, questions, or suggestions from real teenagers who go through this stuff everyday, feel free to leave them down below! Thanks for reading!
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